How to Make Sure Men Know You're Available

by Sarah Paul, Relationships Expert

My friend Melissa was always hanging out with her best guy friend, Brad. She didn’t feel comfortable going to bars alone, and Brad was always available for a good time. They did this for about six months before Melissa realized that she wasn’t meeting anyone new. Was her friendship with Brad jeopardizing her romantic life?

Unfortunately, the answer is yes. Men would look admiringly at Melissa … and realize that she was laughing and talking with another guy. They’d assume that because Melissa and Brad were out together, they were a couple.

If you go out with any guy—whether as a pair or in a mixed-gender group—you may be losing opportunities, because people are getting the wrong impression.

Here are some things to do to make it clear to all those gorgeous guys out there that you are a single, available, and highly desirable lady.

1. If you go out often with your best male friend, tell him that you need to take some time off so that you can find someone new. He may feel rejected, even though your relationship is solely a friendship. Reassure him that your friendship is important to you and how much you value it. You can continue to go out with him, but reserve at least one night a week for going out alone or with all female friends.

2. Reserve at least one night a week to go out alone or with your few closest female friends. The whole focus of the night should be keeping your eyes open, engaging in some fun flirting, and seeing the possibilities out there!

3. If you tend to go out often in mixed-gender groups, seat yourself at the side of the table surrounded by women, keep your body angled towards the crowd rather than your small group, and look up often. Unintentional eye contact can be one of the best ways of meeting someone new.

4. If a guy that you’re interested in sees you in the company of another man, ALWAYS mention that the other man is just a co-worker, friend, or sibling. Don’t wait for him to ask. Most men have a firm respect for other men’s territory. If a guy thinks that you are attached, he won’t send out any signals that he finds you attractive … even if he does.

5. Keep your male friendships purely platonic and don’t give into the urge to make them a substitute for a romantic relationship. Male friends often give women an excuse not to hunt for a romantic partner. You may already be comfortable with your male friend, while the hassle involved in meeting someone new, going on a few dates together, and seeing if you’re compatible might feel like too much to bother. DON’T settle for friendship when you could be having the relationship of your dreams!

6. If you do go out with a male friend and want to make sure that the other guys in the room know you’re available, make some space. Don't lean in close, or sit too close together, or lower your voice for a warm, intimate conversation. Keep your body turned slightly away from your friend and towards the crowd. Make sure that your friend knows what you are doing so that he does not feel offended. Avoid “jokingly” flirting, as it can be difficult for anyone observing you to distinguish from real flirting.

7. Most important of all, leave your table and wander through the crowd as much as possible. When you are alone, you are much more approachable. Use the bathroom. Get drinks from the bar, and take your time doing so. Let your gaze wander as you wait with a light, confident smile. If that handsome guy at the edge of the dance floor is looking at you, he might just catch your eye.

8. Always have a good time. Guys are drawn to positive energy; they want to be part of the fun. If you’re the girl who’s having a great time on the dance floor, men will notice you. However, it will be up to you to signal to them your approachability. If you catch a gorgeous guy looking at you, look away quickly, then look back. Glance down and smile to yourself. Look back up again if you feel like it. This game of “eye play” will make it clear to him that you find him attractive. Next thing you know, you may find men lining up in droves at your table.

You can learn A LOT more about how to attract the man of your dreams and get the relationship you always wanted at:

Make Every Man Want You More
How to Be Irresistible to Men

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